Lifecycle member and survivor, Emily Surette
“Nothing to worry about. It’s normal for there to be lumps and bumps when breastfeeding.” Those were the words that my doctor told me in early August 2020. A week earlier, my daughter had stopped nursing effectively from my left breast. It was then that I felt a thickening on one side of my breast that was large enough to send me into a panic, so I immediately made an appointment with my gynecologist.
After a brief exam, she told me it was nothing to worry about, and I felt instant relief. I figured it was a clogged milk duct and it would work itself out. Two weeks later, it was still there, and it continued to nag me. I needed a second opinion. I made an appointment with my mid-wife. She sent me straight for an ultrasound to ease my mind. The ultrasound came back with “NO CANCER DETECTED” printed at the top of the form and a smiley face written by the technician. What a relief!
That was enough to ease my mind. From here, I knew it had to be breastfeeding related. Two weeks later my daughter completely stopped nursing from that side. She wasn’t gaining weight effectively, so we started supplementing with formula. I needed answers as to why she wasn’t nursing on that side, there must be a blockage. I was at a complete loss, extremely frustrated, and in frequent tears. It was still nagging me. So, at this point, I made an appointment with a lactation consultant.
The lactation consultant was so friendly, calm and she listened intently to my story and my concerns. She gave me a breast exam and thought perhaps it could be a clog or a cyst, and she gave me some exercises to try to get the milk flowing again. But underneath her helpful demeanor, I could sense that the issue could be above her expertise. She advised me that I should go to a breast specialist to get a more thorough examination, and she gave me the name of Dr. Susan Bahl, a breast specialist in Frederick.
When I met with Dr. Bahl, she examined me and immediately sent me for a mammogram, another ultrasound, and a breast MRI. If you have never been in these shoes…. the time waiting after imaging is excruciating. The longer the wait is, the more you know that something must be wrong. When I think of that moment, I remember laying on the table with a towel over my chest. I remember looking up at the ceiling tiles with tears in my eyes. It was then that I knew. I just knew. 5 minutes seemed like 30 minutes. When the technician returned, she said that the radiologist would like me to come back for a biopsy.
On September 22, 2020 I was diagnosed with Stage 2b Invasive Lobular Carcinoma (ILC). ILC makes up only 10% of those diagnosed with breast cancer and is more difficult to diagnose because it is not easily detectible on imaging. ILC tends to form a thickening, rather than a hard lump.
On October 15, 2020 I had surgery to remove my left breast. I learned afterwards that the cancer had spread to five lymph nodes. I had a month to heal before they wanted me to start my intense chemotherapy regimen.
On November 17, 2020 I started chemotherapy. The plan was for a total of 18 chemotherapy sessions, split between two different intense regimens. I finished chemotherapy on March 30, 2021 with a smile on my face, no hair, and with extreme weight gain (among several other lovely side effects).
On April 13, 2021 I started radiation therapy. Daily trips to the cancer center for six weeks, to zap any lingering cancer cells that may still exist. Then I started on anti-estrogen oral medication and a monthly injection to shut down my ovaries (well, hello early menopause!).
As I reflect at my breast cancer journey, it is interesting to me that I remember each moment right before and leading up to my diagnosis. I can easily bring myself back to that room and put myself in those shoes – reliving each devastating feeling that I had. But after my diagnosis, everything is one big blur. I was going through the movements, doing everything my trusted doctors advised me. It’s fuzzy, and it’s a time that, while my body was fighting for its life, my mind could never accept.
As I look back two years later, I realize I have come such a long way. I was 40 years old when I was diagnosed, I had never had a mammogram before and didn’t perform regular breast self-exams. Breast cancer does not run in my family. It wasn’t even on my radar. There was a lot of “How could this be happening to me??” But here I am telling my story. If I had advice for anybody reading, it’s this:
-Early detection saves lives. Do your breast self-exams monthly. Schedule that yearly mammogram. Ask your doctor if anything feels off. And if you are not happy with the answer, get a second opinion, and get a third opinion. Trust your gut. That is the reason I am standing here today.
- Make an appointment with your doctor if you notice:
— A hard lump; or knot near your underarm
— Changes in the way your breasts look or feel, including thickening or prominent fullness that is different from the surrounding tissue
—Dimples, puckers, bulges or ridges on the skin of your breast
—A recent change in a nipple to become pushed in (inverted) instead of sticking out
—Redness, warmth, swelling or pain
—Itching, scales, sores or rashes
—Bloody nipple discharge
(https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/breast-exam/about/pac-20393237 )